Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
nothing makes up for a small, perpetually flaccid penis quite like a British accent
Michelle found a bong in the garbage and sold it to my mom
Just watched a fat girl on a scooter run into the back of a bus head first
You are the luckiest man alive
I gave myself a pep talk in the library bathroom mirror. and then threw up in the sink.
Boy did I ever crash and burn on the pickled egg pick up line.
I'm waiting at the bar and am surrounded by unattractive women.
You need to get here and rebalance this disturbance in the force.
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
That amazing moment when the girl in the passenger seat decides to strip you while your driving.
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
If you get home and there is an older woman there, its my mom. She wants to come and see the place after work. Just an FYI. Not the older sluts I bang.
I was originally going to go as fembot from Austin Powers
I wanted to have tiny guns for tits
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
Omg. We have to workout today. I just looked at myself in the mirror and thanked a god I don't believe in for drunken boys and dark rooms.
He stopped me mid blowjob and asked me to take off my hat. He said it made him feel like Neil Young was going down on him.
Randomize
