hey soul. what's that? you, dignity and pride are left for the night? coulda told me that before i vomited all over my mother.
I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
Is it weird I want to fuck the cartoon chick from e-surance??
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
I've gone to the bathroom 3 times. And forgot to pee. 3 times. Let's say we call it a night, I need to be found. I see a fish tank by the bar and some stairs.
All that matters is I got the megaphone home safely
lets just say that i have already today: gotten drunk, got in a fight, got stranded an hour away from home, found a ride, sobered up, and slept. woken back up, and here i am. its been a long day. Day drinking is bad for friendships.
Why is there a keg in our kitchen? I'm not complaining but why is there a keg in our kitchen?
I just bid on a $9000 car because I think its my ex-girlfriends. Yes I wanna hit that again.
On a scale of 1 to "bad descision", where does stealing my racist neighbors dog and giving him my roomates dildo for a chew toy rate?
All I know is when I checked my phone this morning google translate was open with "help the cow ate my robot" translated to French
At one point we were both in the bathroom and i was taking a shit while holding your hair as you puked in the sink. Friendship.
I had to switch coats with someone at work because you can see the giant sex choke bruise on my neck. Being kinky is hard.
so idk what that means but now because of me he has a police file as breaking into my apartment and sleeping in my hallway under the carpet
Randomize
