Me= Watching Ferngully. My neighbor= Having really loud sex including multiple orgasms
Oh God
I know, but the worst part is I'm not really sure which I'd rather be doing. Feel free to re-evaluate our friendship
Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
he threw up on me, hugged my legged and then started laughing. when i asked him why, he said "it's like the sour patch kids commercials."
5 out of the 6 of them cut their hands while trying to shot gun the beer, I had never seen balls attached to such patheticness
so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
NEVER PUT A LIT CIGARETTE BEHIND YOUR EAR
You threw up? Were you ladylike while you did it? I'm wagering that you were. Like a Disney princess. Like a "Puke Me Pretty" Barbie.
Only you could make a stripper uncomfortable by eye fucking her too much.
I'm stoned as hell watching the new Star Trek movie. My life is 110% better than it was an hour ago.
On the upside, no one went to the hospital! Lex's friend was definitely on fire at one point last night though because he tried to juggle tiki torches. He was shirtless this morning and smelled like a BBQ.
Hooked up with a straight guy while dressed as a man. I'm unstoppable.
I'm disease and pregnancy free. This is an Easter for the books!
He made me tacos after the sex. Best date ever!
If I could I'd magically teleport drugs and alcohol to you. Like a bad decision fairy.
Randomize
