Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
I had to move some guys boxers out of the dryer. This is the closest I'll be getting to dick this month.
Just found a quarter that has been stuck to my boob since at least last night.
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday
WHY AM I NOT THERE?
She's just done the monthly not prego dance around our kitchen
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals
I may or may not vaguely recall punching you in the dick but it was a misunderstanding and I forgive you can we have make up sex?
Gay bathhouses. They're actually a thing. So god does exist. And he doesn't hate me as much as you think he does
I just want to dump glitter on my floor and roll in it like a cat in catnip.
I'm serious-it was like trying to deep-throat a minivan.
Woke up to your boyfriend in my bed last night. What's that about?
Turns out the guy I did all that coke with the other night is a cop
We're dating now
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
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