The first thing on our $10,000 damage bill was "condoms in the main drain"
im trying to pick out the cookie crumbs from my adderall. it is a lot harder than it seems.
i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
I gave myself a pep talk in the library bathroom mirror. and then threw up in the sink.
My life is over. I farted in open court. Noticeably. The judge looked at me. It echoed.
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
He? As in you personified your dick?
The most adult decision I've mad today was Jameson or Fireball? It's been a successful Day
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
If anything I look like a soccor mom going out for her annual ladies night. Trying hard, but not quite in her twenty's anymore.
meow
use your words like a big girl
i ran over your cat.
i let a mormon finger me. i don't ever want to be that drunk again.
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
Randomize