the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
I want to stick my p in your. b.
Ah, the precious few moments between when i wake up and when i realize why i'm sleeping on a treadmill.
he didn't want to fuck because he was too busy skateboarding. what are we 12? I'm too old for this shit.
Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
Why did you put hummus in my pillow case?
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
I apparently texted him "since you're taking time out to think about us. You probably need to think about me getting arrested right now."
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high
They should have to wear some identification that warns you to stay away. Like one of those cones dogs wear to keep them from biting stitches. CONE OF SHAME.
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
Just peed in the fountain while its snowing. Fell flat on my ass, literally my butt naked ass in a pile of snow. It's safe to say I'm done with drinking on weekdays
you were so blacked last night that you jumped in the lake fully clothed, then just went back to the bar and walked around like you weren't soaking wet.
He put a doughnut around his dick and I ate it. What can I say. It was a good fucking night.
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