3:12 am: but i thought i was coming over tonight, don't fall asleep i wore new underwear
So, someone in Olympia stole my credit card # last week and bought a platypus vibrator with it. That’s it.
The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
So my ex just cheated on her current bf w/me and now there's a car coming to take me to Vegas... Is this really my Thursday night?
I hate you.
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
I realized it was a bad idea when I broke my collar bone
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
We got Pizza Hut & Papa Johns, delivered within seconds of each other, and both delivery people did a shot. I was put on Earth for this moment.
definitely just forgot to put car in park in front of a police officer and ran into a bush.
it's taken me 3 hours to eat this pudding cup. I think I am melting.
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
dude i haven't had a solid dump since sunday and i still cant hear out of my right ear
Lesbians just stole my cat :(
Randomize
