Sometimes I feel like I shouldn't drink when I come out of a black out half naked covered in puke. Then I realize thats why I drink.
She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
Well if I am having twins, at least I'll finally have 2 kids by the same father.
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
I don't know, I kept pretending that I was riding an elephant during. It was actually really fun, but you can't tell him that!
How can other people our age be acting like adults when I'm still taking my birth control pill with left over gin and tonic from the night before?
I've decided that buying my first unused mattress has been my first major step into real adulthood.
I definitely don't have enough experience with hookers to be in this group text anymore.
i just drunk stumbled into my home... to figure out that we moved 2 weeks ago..
I'm bleeding and intoxicated as I'm walking to my final right now. Wish me luck
We walked into the RA's room and he said "is that alcohol" and I screamed "IT'S WATER" and ran out and Vanessa slammed the door and started making out with him.
Randomize
