Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
Doo rag and shades in the bar. You are missing your future husband.
did you ever find your cell phone? and your dignity?
I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
the people of mcdonalds are all starring at me & this dude like they know we just slept together
I'm going to rise like a phoenix out of the drunken, shameful ashes that were last weekend.
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
I'm using the house around the corner that my parents rent out to people as a means of getting sex. I just tell them I'm going for a walk and just invite my next hook up over
Happy Birthday. May your liver respect you, fat bitches neglect you, hangovers reject you, and AA accept you.
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
I'm only wearing socks and eating tuna, don't do this to me right now.
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
Don't tell me you're on acid again
Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!
You know those times when you're sitting down for a while and r like damn I'm sober but then stand up and r like WOAH HOLD UP.
Randomize
