bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
soooo we both peed the bed last night...
they almost convinced me to put "Funbags" in the 'other names you may be known as' section of the job application
Just made out with the bride... She was still in her dress & I was still in my bridesmaid dress, how's that for an album picture?!?
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
He gave me an elaborately handwritten invite (on a bar coaster) back to his place and whispered in my ear 'i have ping pong'. And he said byob. fuck THAT.
I knew I was rolling hard when I realized I had been rubbing the couch for an hour
I feel like I'm full of double a batteries and cocaine.
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
I woke up to see that I had ripped my boxers into a loin cloth because we were watching last of the mohicans
I'm getting offered Candy Crush lives in return for sex. Like wtf.
Last night was so embarrassing. I got like almost blackout drunk and threw up in my hand and then blamed it on someone else.
Watching a bear prancing around in a tiara is worth a loss of bar time.
Randomize
