The shirt is mine, the pants are mine, the bra not so much
you know you should just kill yourself when you are helping your 16 year-old sister get ready for a date and you're going out to dinner with you parents..
i called him pencil dick in front of over half of his fraternity brothers...
...never gotten so many high fives in my life! fuck ya i win!
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
some guy just walked by in the street and for 5 seconds yelled "IMM SOOOO HORNYYYYYY!!!!"
stopped you just in time from sledding down the roof.
It was like the perfect storm of bad decisions.
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
I've found a new low. I was climb-on-the-bar-piano drunk.
I wanna fuck that hideous moustache right off your face. get the confetti ready for the festivities
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
But you put your finger in my ass and the rest is history
i can't hookup with him because someone else bit my vagina
I wasn’t trying to be creepy it just happened
I’m beginning to think that’s your defining personality trait.
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