I feel like I'm in dance class right now
It doesn't matter if I tell the story beginning to end or end to beginning, the story still starts with a random girl blowing me in the bathroom.
Remind me tomorrow to take that ball-gag out of my purse.
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
I'm more concerned about the fact that I can't feel my gums
I called him daddy. To his face. Somewhat sober. What more could I do?
So he ended up throwing a watermelon that he stole from the cafeteria saying "if i cant have it no one can" of the 5th floor.
You need to get over here. I think the drunks are about to sacrifice a chicken to the beer gods. Or a freshman. Stay tuned.
my grandpa is going down the line on this prom picture, and telling me how big everyone's nipples are... he was spot on for me.
GLITTER SLIP N SLIDE MUTHAFUCKAH~
Got a high five from a Superman stripper tonight
My puke in the shower morning just turned into a puke in the restroom at work afternoon. I'm the human embodiment of dumpster fire.
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
Why can I remember how tall Nicki Minaj is from looking up her height once months ago, yet after weeks into the semester I can't even remember where any my classrooms are located
Importance
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
Randomize
