I just wanted to say sorry for trying to jack off your dog last night.
Today should be called shooting fish in a barrel day. Every place ive gone to ive met a girl who regrets not hooking up last night. There have not been girls this easy since Fathers Day
Please stop bringing your one night stands to Sunday brunch.
I'm way too drunk on a Sunday to handle this level of Jesus.
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
it got awkward when she realized that our nickname for her was "The Hambeast"
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
Am I the only one that feels like there are hundreds of tiny people having a rave and stomping and kicking around inside my head this morning?
It was kinda hard to explain to his wife why there was chocolate syrup on the ceiling.
Should I tell this TSA agent his fly is down while he is trying to hit on this chick?
Dropped the bowl in the litter box. But it landed face up. What do I do?
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
You're either getting fucked or a coupon to Friendly's. I haven't decided yet.
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
Wrong Cuomo but I had a dream last night in which I was very sexually attracted to Chris
Randomize
