Apparently the library doesn't care about celebrating the day Jesus became a zombie.
after last nights cooking expirments i have lost all faith in the fire alarm battery
In their defense you were hugging a watermelon for a good portion of the trip
Once again I am on the toilet and refuse to get up
What a great time to reflect on life
just tried to scoop ice cream with a steak knife. now in the emergency room with a the cab diver and the drag queen he picked up on the way. its gonna be a loooong day.
I'm the man of the house if we're referring to livers.
This is the third year in a row that Mario has fallen through a table on New Years. I'm sensing a tradition developing.
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
tried to make it look like I had been conscious/awake and out all day when I stumbled into cvs at 6pm to buy plan B
update: I failed
Also the girl beside me smells like she's been in a deep fryer.
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
YOURE A FUCKING ADULT. DONT TELL ME ITS PAST YOUR BEDTIME WHEN I WANT TO GET ANOTHER COCKTAIL.
One singular head for man, one giant climax for mankind
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
Randomize