it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
get your tongue out of his mouth and answer your phone. if your not doing more than making out i'm gonna be so pissed. i'm about to sleep in your car bitch
Sitting on the floor in my kitchen eating taquitos. Being this drunk the next day has lost its allure post graduation.
I'll call it a relationship when I stop masturbating after he goes to sleep
You know when the three of us hug it out in the alcohol isle in walmart it's gonna be fun.
It's hard to take you serious when you're crying your eyes out wearing an adult sized onesie.
if i ever wake up in the morning and don't feel a boner in my asscrack then this relationship is over
I'm sitting on my couch eating a bag of marshmallows and watching someone run bare ass down the street. What has happened to my life?
If you get me a sex toy for Christmas everyone in my family will question our relationship.
She was doing drunken zumba and screaming "FUCK YOU I HAVE MY OWN STYLE!" at the TV
Pinterest knows I’m getting divorced
Finally fucked my buddy's mom!! We are both ten years older and for her it really shows but i hit it!!
I just elbowed a roll of wrapping paper, and said “ohh sorry”. I’m still drunk.
We're hate flirting, damnit.
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