God I can't wait to have my phone textbombed every night
Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
What?
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
It's confirmed I did eat a ping pong ball last night...
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
I was to drunk to walk in jimmy john's so I called and got a pickle delivered to me outside the bar , too much?
Passive mediator is your role in this relationship. My role is dick punching arsonist
Dude she let me install handle bars on her headboard. I should have nailed my boss years ago.
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
I have fuck me eyes 4/5 people agree. It's like doctors or dentists but with ppl who have lots of sex and know these things.
he didn't stitch me up last time. in fact, he yelled at me for bleeding.
I mean, you've seen me eat pizza, sober, out of a garbage can, and yet I refuse to go eat at that place. Just sayin....
I went to an 8am hookup in another guys sweatpants. Who is the really player here?
Randomize
