is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
I just puked in the walgreens aisle buying gatorade and advil for my hangover... i guess i failed
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
she used her one phone call to ask me about my day
I feel like I need to get rid of the black eyeliner, glitter, and tequila breath before I to that world poverty conference..
Lazier than spoon feeding yourself popcorn and debating adult diapers so you don't have to leave the mentalist marathon on tv?
Jesus, I just want to drink. Also simultaneously punch things and rub my vagina on them.
He showed me a picture of his baby hamsters and I called them "Mammal McNuggets"
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
I ordered more beers for everyone but had to finish them all. I promptly went outside and projectile vomited in the street. Three times.
I didn't want to fight, I just wanted to tell you to fuckoff.
I don't want to just break his heart, I want to dip it in liquid nitrogen and then smash it until it's powder and snort the powder
Not all of us can be into hot dads. Some of us have to have commitment issues and be into musicians.
Please explain the hospital band on my wrist.
Does the girl you just banged want anything from Taco Bell?
Randomize
