Yeah. He most definitely jizzed himself in the face.
What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
Guy at red light looking at porn. I'm waiting for him to look over at me so I can shake my head and he can feel bad
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
And then I asked the bartender for my third shot and he told me he had to cut me off at two because this was in fact a family fun center
I'm sitting at my desk looking through our payroll system photos to find my next boyfriend. Abuse of power or awesome?
As hard as i've been partying lately their gonna have to revoke my organ donor status
Your list of "good ideas" thumbtacked to the lampshade last night consisted of nothing but "tampon-pen" with a note indicating that girls could then always have something to write with, even naked.
I don't care if my next phone has to run on the blood of virgin koala bears, I don't want to be scrambling for a charger.
It's fine. I wouldn't trust either of them to be my workplace drug buddy.
How you doing tonight? I got my butthole licked so i cant complain.
How did i get home and why am i wearing someone elses shorts?
1. Not sure how 2. You showed up naked, we had to dress you.
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
All I remember is an overwhelming desire for chicken nuggets...
Yes, you pinned my brother to the floor by the throat and threatened to slaughter his family if he didn't drive to mcdonalds and get you some.
Randomize
