You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
He said he wanted to have kids with me so they could grow up to be professional linebackers. Not. A. Complient.
Just heard this lady walk by on her phone saying "did everyone orgasm?"
I'm partying with my neighbors right now, and by "with my neighbors" I mean they are partying in their backyard and I'm partying in mine, and by "partying" I mean I'm sitting here alone drinking tequila.
Let's just say trying to drink my weight in apple pie shots looked better in theory.
Sent him a picture of my pregnant boobs from last year, think he'll notice the difference?
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
He actually just looked up and said I'm gonna cum in my pants. and he did. no shame.
I'm taking myself to the hospital right now b/c there is no way this erection is subsiding in the next 4 hours.
Steve brought 6 joints and 2 bottles of makers mark, Josh shat himself in the pool, and Amy blew me. Hope that extra 3 dollars an hour for working overnights is still worth it.
Why the fuck is there a picture of us jumping a girl that's wearing my chicken mask?
I was drunk and gave him my dad's phone number instead because somehow I thought that'd be funny. Man did that fucking backfire
If my emotions are below a 3 or above a 7, I'm crying
I was sprawled on his bed and heard him and a girl walk in the apartment. I jumped out the window and am walking down main street wrapped in an american flag blanket. Can you pick me up?
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