I was in the bathroom and her cat just looked at my penis with a profound hatred.
thanks for being my friend even though im irresponsible with my vagina
Last night at the bar my fuck buddies found out about each other.
Wtf? What happened?
Not quite sure but they rock, paper, scissored to see who was taking me home.
it's my sixth sense. If there's an orgy within 20 miles of me i'll know about if. Or be a part of it.
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
Slurping strawberries throug a straw. It feels like the kool-aid man is coming in my mouth.
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
I paid your brother in tostitos to drive me home.
Aren't you proud to know somebody who texts you "manifold facade" while dumping frozen colada mix into a blender of rum
It's hot as dicks out. Lets get drunk on the roof and make pterodactyl sounds at people.
Discovery: there is a folder in my pictures labeled "Your Name and cats"
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
I’m a little confused...we were told by Cheeto Jesus and his minions multiple times that we would stop hearing about coronavirus the day after the election and, yet, I am still hearing about coronavirus. Is it possible they lied to us again?!?
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
Randomize
