I was just standing there and then BOOM! She was attacking my face with her mouth.
I don't get it, man. She treated me like a sexual predator but treated you like a piece of meat.
I'm at a Rock of Love themed party. New high? New low? I can't tell.
Wait. Scratch that. It's not themed. These girls are just sluts.
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
I negotiated the purchase of an entire tray of like 50 jello shots for $8.
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
I was in the freezer we were knocking over shit. Speaking of which i asked my boss. I can hook up with girls in the freezer
Yeah just sayin. Whenever you want to come over and wank me off you can
I will pray to the gods of eye bleach for you
I'm gonna lurk in the mother fucking bushes and watch karma take him down like a gimpy gazelle.
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
I think I ate my cheesy fiesta potatoes cup.
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
Well, we could've been at the bar taking a shot everytime my rash spread. But Noooooo. You had to go out with your non- girlfriend. Lame.
I feel like I've asked you "are you okay?" one too many times in the last 48 hours. You're hopeless.
You were so drunk that you didn't even notice when I switched out your shot of jäger for a shot of maple syrup...before or after you drank it.
Randomize
