I went from sexy to sloppy in a matter of minutes
I feel like sober is me a distant relative that I only see on christmas..
I don't want to have to wonder if I'm draining my pasta in the same side of the sink you pissed in
I bought the love spell lotion from victoria secret so it atleast smells like a girl is present while I'm masturbating
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
Anything that comes outta your cooch is bound to be breathtaking
That could use a little rephrasing
The woman in the hospital bed next to me just got diagnosed with flea bites on her vag.
Whaaaaaat? No way.
Now a discussion of pigs vs. dog as carrier.
What are you doing? Because if it happens to be drinking, or even any activity that rhymes with "drinking", I'll be over in 5.
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
It feels like New Years Day all over again...me trying desperately not to throw up in the backseat & mom and dad blissfully unaware in the front
It makes showers more interesting trying to drink a gin and tonic and keep soap out of my eyes at the same time.
You need to calm down.
The perfect man would keep a whisky sour in my hand and give me endless sex. I really don't think that's too much to ask for.
Guess who has two thumbs and broke her boyfriends dick?
By the way I can not feel my vagina. It's like it's asleep. What the hell did you do?
Why did I wake up covered in glitter next to a half eaten cheeseburger?
Randomize
