Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
I wish they had nachos that got you drunk
she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
we need blinds so i can safely watch porn during the day
I bought a Christmas tree in my drunken state last night, after walking a half mile in search of vino and prior to my apparently playing boardgames with my boyfriend's family. There is no way you are on my level.
Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
When he came he sounded like a flock of birds hitting puberty
I have got to stop getting laid on my lunch breaks. I AM SO HUNGRY RIGHT NOW.
That's your penis' name. I've always referred to it as Alejandro secretly.
I'm calling it the Friendlationship with Benefits Zone.
Are you two whores ready for me to turn the light on so you can see what you came home with last night?
Oprah Winfrey is a jealous, vengeful god
You're going to hell! And you're going to hell! And you! And you. You're all going to hell!!!
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
Relationship goals: we both wore red underwear tonight. Except he won’t know because my bra been off but it’s the thought that counts I guess.
Randomize
