I bet when she looks at herself in the mirror she wishes brown paper bags were in fashion.
It's a shame that I don't know his last name. Actually, it's an ever bigger shame that I don't know his first name
I miss your penis. And I totally say this as a friend. I just miss it because it's great. You should be very proud of it.
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
Sometimes I wonder if my parents know that I mean horny when I say lonely.
That's the only definition of lonely that I know.
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
Dude I wanna go on a booze cruise
Dude our life is a booze cruise
But without boats...
Was having the best sex dream I've had in a while and only woke up when I heard my grandma fall down the stairs.
well I've taken an Uber to my weed dealers twice in the past 2 weeks so it's going well since I sold my car
Hi,\n\nYou left your underwear in my Uber. Thanks and bye.
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
Just because your drunk doesn't mean you can stick your dick in the snow. Just a FYI
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
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