i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
I may be the first guy in history to get dome while watching An Extremely Goofy Movie.
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
no. you're not making a beach trip out of my abortion.
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
It's almost like a boob-text, but it's not. Because it was live. And you were showing a bunch of people.
But the drunk streaking fizzled when one of jake's friends took a piss while running with a massive erection.
she pretty much pinned my hand to her boob "on accident" for like 10 seconds before she moved. Waiting the rest of the night was just a formality.
I AM A HOUSE CAT. I CANNOT DO THIS LION BUSINESS WE CALL THE SINGLE LIFE
He offered to buy me free breakfast if I stayed at the hotel overnight with him. I then realized they have a complimentary breakfast.
You know youre getting old when you I.D. the person trying to take you home to be sure they're over 25. Help me.
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
You know that episode of Spongebob where Patrick teaches Spongebob to be fancy? His dick was like that, only fancier.
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
Imp drunk. It'd free popcorn tuedday I love life.
Randomize
