The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
Just found a shot glass and plan b in my backpack...
Im guessing the shot glass is for plan c?
I'm home with mono, wearing knee high socks, shorts, a stained old shirt, and a surgical mask. He comes over ANYWAY with soup, a gas mask, billions of DVDs, and eats me out. He's either stupid, whipped, or i'm just THAT good.
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
All I can think about is getting a lawsuit and chocolate
You dislocated his arm and then bought him two shots to numb the pain while you pushed it back in
I hijacked a bellboy cart and rolled into the party dancing on it
He got thrown out for leaning over the bar topless and pouring himself some beer while singing the james bond song
Quick!! What's a good reason for me to have rug burn on my chin?
Nothing worse then being at the gym on the elliptical next to a guy looking at porn on his phone
You have ruined sex with him for me. Now all I think is "boy scout" and I want to go home
I think I’ve reached sophomore-year-level of bad ideas
and you know that’s the highest possible level because it’s when I met you
Why are there four guys spooning on the living room floor?
They're still there? Shit. They were supposed to leave after they hugged it out.
Randomize
