I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
what you doin?
I just woke up vomited poured myself a chocolate milk and turned on the peoples court. you?
reread what you just wrote and reconsider your entire life
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
Her parents walked in on us. So for my birthday they bought me a blow-up doll with their daughters face on it. I don't know what to think right now.
Babe, I need to be clear. I DO NOT WANT TO HAVE ANAL. Never. No anal. No "talking about it"
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
The ratio of how much he pisses me off to how much sex i get just isnt working out for me
Thursday nights need to stop happening to me.
he quoted the bible to break up with me
there was 12 of us, girls included, shirtless and wielding swords as we bet on rock paper scissors in the middle of the bar. It was like Cinco de Mayo version of the Deer Hunter
You were such a shitshow...I was just standing in the kitchen eating my toaster strudel and you came in, whispered "you didn't see anything" and led him to the couch
I'm prostituting myself for tickets to Disney World. There's a contradiction there.
Remember that Czech tennis player I brought home from beer pong and banged on your couch last year? He just booty calle me. From the Czech Republic.
Our orgasm ration was 1:45. No. Fucking. Joke. I thought I was going to die.
Randomize
