508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
the family i'm sitting with looks like the Addams family. Except for the daughter...she looks like Shrek
couldnt find a condom. used a surgical glove instead. actually worked and the sex was great. thanks nursing school
Jesus once told his disciples that its better to hang out with your best friend than give some douche bag a bj.
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
You kept yelling "wood grain wheel" and grinding on fat chicks.
The hell is wrong with me
So in Aca Taco on grad night 1am, this bitch walks in alone drunk as fuck in her gown to the front of the line and says, "I graduated today...thank YOU"
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
Yes I did. Thanks. I was actually an hour and half early. I'm better at public transport than I thought. Guy behind me on the bus is also crying. We compared cry-snot. It was nice in a weird sad way.
I swear to God if you fuck my cousin I will fuck your dad.
Should I apologize to him for saying I wanted to punch him in the face as I was digging through the trash?
What??! Dude I'm not having you barging in at like 2 am smelling of cigarettes and disappointment to sleep on my couch and then have an awkward morning with my wife while I'm at work.
Touché sir
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
If you can wrestle my underwear off of me, you can top. It'll be like using an amulet in Legends of the Hidden Temple. Instead of not getting captured, you don't get fucked in the ass.
Randomize
