I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
His pubic hair was longer than his dick
Now that the fun of having an iPhone has worn off I find that using screen as a coke tray is by far my favorite app
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
once you have herpes you dont really care what goes in your mouth anymore.
Is this like a "I'm taking you out to dinner and treating you with respect" kind of date, or is this a "I'm gonna fill you with alcohol and cheese and stuff my dick in your anus" kind of date?
Just found an unopened tied g of coke on the floor in her room... she thinks the maintenance guy dropped it earlier today. This takes the cake for sketchiest apartment.
I just gagged from thinking about the amount of tequila we will be drinking. DRUNK TUESDAYS
He also turned out to be underage (the fucking liar) so we had to get drunk on cooking sherry
He was pretty handsy. Told me I tasted like smoke. Good think he tasted that and not the stomach acid I just puked not ten minutes before.
Do you remember peeing in the sink while I was throwing up?
No ma'am, I do not. I found a video of us trying to do a trust fall though. Emphasis on the trying.
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
Justin just used the term "industrial strength colon blow".
I only spent $42 at the bar last night, it's some sort of miracle.
you do remember it was dollar beer night, right?
That answers my next five questions
I came so hard my ears popped.
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