You were rubbing your foot on one of your legs and kept saying, "My sock feels like a waterslide!"
in the event i get tipsy, my nipples are your responsibility
could you please tell me why you thought vodka soaked band aids were a good idea?
the potatoes in the margarita machine wasn't the breaking point. its when he turned on the stove and put a bunch of bottle rockets on it that i knew the night had prematurely failed
Hit a new low. I'm FB stalking him while he is lying in bed sleeping naked next to me. He fell asleep with FB still open and unlocked on his iPad.
I'm standing at the bottom of the driveway w a sign that says plow me
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
i'm gonna crowd surf you onto his dick
Stay strong! Remember we're too uncoordinated to be strippers to make money instead of being a nurse
When I come home and take my bra off and I'm served with a perfect grilled cheese along with a glass of wine. Priceless.
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
How did I get the fat lip, while puking I may or may not have sneezed... Wacking my face into the toilet bowl...
We need to catch up immediately. I took ecstasy and made out with carrot face this weekend.
The lady at the front desk wished you a happy hangover.
Just woke up with the taste of tequila, weed, and cigarettes in my mouth spooning a friend I haven't seen since college wearing one contact and one ankle sock. I hate myself.
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