Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
Your TV has the DVD menu for White Chicks permanently burned into the screen. I can't anymore. That's just a whole different level that I cannot comprehend.
note to self... there IS such a thing as having too many birthday shots...
The pet store wouldn't sell us fish because they said they could tell we were drunk.
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
Okay good. I don't want another mom thinking I got their daughter pregnant.
Duuuuuuuude, I need you to sleep with my girlfriend so I can tell you both to move out
My day in three words: secret purse cake
That's probably why white girls drink so much espresso. Piledriving coke and vodka crans takes a fucking toll man
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
I woke up this morning to pee and six dollar bills fell out of my underwear. I guess that lap dance just bought me lunch.
I'm going to blackout. I realize this
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
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