Your tits are I can't wait for
I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
weddingsv make me drug and hornr
Are you trying to threaten my boobs?
There's a man in a pair of gray footie pajamas and a paper crown watching the kids at the playground. It was easier to tell who was a pedophile before Where the Wild Things Are came out.
We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
i need to buy one of the child leashes to wear at mardi gras or else im never making it out alive
I think I'm dead. Why did I think it was a good idea to hang from the banister while someone poured liquor into my mouth?
I was taking a bath while he walked in, sat down on the toilet, and said "its like a baby, I can see it crowning."
WHEN DID YOU SAY YOU COME BACK BC I GOT INVITED TO A KEG WAR PARTY
And we're now at 8 people from the office coming to my desk to ask me "do you feel better?".
I be dancing. See you soon. You can drink tequila from my pants.
About to go make a man out of a 24 year old boy
As I shove my ninth taquito of the day into my mouth...
Picking our battles
I hear jingle bells and I can't tell if it's bc I'm feeling festive or just REALLY high
My house exploded and with it all my pot went up in smoke.
Randomize