sunday morning discovery: something purple, smelly, and sticky my hair. any suggestions?
We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
Just transferred the sun chips from that obnoxious Eco-friendly bag into a zip lock. Fuck the environment, that bag is loud.
I maybe just had sex outside in broad daylight. At a state park. Please be proud.
Taking shot for every red box on your worst bracket. I have 30. I might die tonight.
You were like pukeahontas last night, you tried to tell us you were okay, then you puked in the garden.
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
last nights episode of shot friends brought to you by polish vodka and flamingo baseball. pickles cure hangovers.
Breaking up as roommates was a poor life decision. I'm sorry. Thank you for never shitting on the floor.
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
She told me she's dating him because his apartment is a block from Taco Bell. I don't know how she's not fat.
my balls were so many shades of blue last night I could have used them as paint and replicated the entirety of Picaso's blue period. The girl was an art major I feel like this metaphor is appropriate.
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
I just put vodka in my apple sauce. Spice up your fucking life.
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
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