you woke up and yelled "the tv is moving" and fell on the floor and passed back out
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
You should've stopped drinking when you started asking people for bites of tequila.
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
Jameson and I invented street rugby last night. Yeah
I woke up on your bathroom floor, i used your towel I found laying on the floor as a cape to get to your bed. I thought it would help me walk straight if I looked like a superhero
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
So I thought the party was crazy before his pinky came off...
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
Some kid just popped open a giant PBR and walked into his final...
Life is so difficult sometimes. Can you imagine? Going through life, constantly creating boners everywhere you go.
I'm surprised I didn't lose anything last night. Except maybe my dignity but other than that we gucci.
I may or may not have hooked up with the cop who arrested me.. Or I can cross hooking up with a stripper in a cop outfit off my bucket list.
Nice. I like it when Maker's Mark makes decisions for you.
Randomize
