He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
I just woke up with streamers wrapped around me. Glitter in my hair. My fish are swimming in empty bottles of Barcardi. Helpppp
How do you say "I always respond to booty calls" when you give a guy your number?
Please stop using the dehumidifier for your weed.
i'm sick of coming in second next to bourbon.
I'm in the city buying alcohol. I just got warned by a homeless man on the street that I shouldn't look so pretty "in these parts"
The guy I woke up with is wearing the same nailpolish as me...I need to stop drinking
I just want dates and sex but the option to have that with whoever whenever I want
I'm only friends with her because I can't stop watching the train wreck.
Morning fuck and a coffee. ARE YOU READY TO CONQUER THE GALAXY WITH ME??
I don't want to just break his heart, I want to dip it in liquid nitrogen and then smash it until it's powder and snort the powder
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
Just sold my panties for 40 bucks to some rando dude at the gay bar. I think I found a way to fund next years spring break trip. Hello cancun!
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