so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
For future reference, a lint roller appears to be the easiest way to get glitter out of a beard.
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
What are you doing? Did I punch you in the face last night?
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
they superglued a cigarette to my fingers...i think I need to quit smoking.
Every time I see him I get horny. I can't help it!
Just stop. You're making other wives look bad. We are all starting to hate you.
The guy next to me just said he wont play beer pong on principle. Im scared.
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
okay we need to get tested.
no YOU need to get tested. I'm just going along for the ride.
Holy shit, just saw a girl in the library smoking a bong disguised as a calculator
The fact that we all screamed by Felicia to a bitch actually named Felicia will be a highlight of my life
Come camping we have xanax and steaks
Can I come over and get it in, take a nap in ur bed, grab some poptarts and then leave?
You haven't lost that air of class about you...
Randomize
