So I ate yogurt with the back of my toothbrush. I feel like I've officially been initiated into college.
You're earring is so big in my mouth
good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
I've grown up since last year. I don't give blow jobs as birthday presents anymore.
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
almost got into it with the cashier. bitch dont look at me like that just cuz im only buying wine and icing. ill fight.
Just found a uh poem I wrote on ambien. It says to "cry your seamen filled tears" and "I hope you take a dagger to your vagina" and at the end it says "sincerely, God". What.the.fuck do they put in that pill?
May or may not have just lost a contact hanging out Anthony's sunroof. Drunk. Hint: I can only see out of one eye right now.
I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree.
I have good news and bad news. Bad news, she's not in porn. Good news, I found porn.
I had sex with him in the back of my car in a duck onesie. I'm worth something dammit.
My vagina doesn't have a refer a friend program. You don't get $25 for getting your friend to have sex with me.
So I fell alseep while I was motorboating that girl last night infront of the entire party.
Peru was great. He sent me a text after thanking me for my amazing morals which confused me but made me oddly proud...then he texted a correction. He meant my amazing oral. Sadly this Made me prouder. Fuck u bitches and ur morally inhibiting gag reflexes.
Randomize
