you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
but the lizard people decide everything anyway
I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
not my fault. i got her to believe he wrote an oasis song. he still managed to find a way to make sure no girl ever gets near his penis.
you were so high that you made a 14 page PowerPoint on why Santa would beat Peter pan in a fight.
and I must say, you were very persuasive
So I told her I dislocated my shoulder and she said "well okay. I can either be on top or blow you."
Decisions, decisions.
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
I gave you head at the stadium on a Thursday night ESPN game. That damn well better be worth points on the score board!!!
I cant tell which is worse. That its only my third time doing laundry this year or that its the first time ive done it sober.
It was fun until the stripper told me it was her first day and started crying.
I. Put. Them. Back. We are NOT making a habit of jail visits.
I drank it. I drank the beer from '78. I drank my bday beer, I drank my soul
God I need to stop before there's a picture of my dick on my mom's phone.
slept at my ex’s house last night and as i was leaving his brother was sitting there on the sofa and said “bet you regret that one don’t ya”
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
Randomize
