i think guys can sense when i'm not wearing underwear
Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
my roommate just said, "don't look at it, just put it iin your mouth"
I know you're on vacation but you should know I just walk of shamed through a hotel lobby while leaving a threesome on Friday the 13th. Fuck superstition, I win.
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
She's comparing the feel of breasts to shredded cabbage. Weirdest. Grandmother. Ever.
I woke up with Pop Rocks stuck to my ass
Nothing says "class act" like eating acid in the middle of a Buffalo Wild Wings
I wish our county sheriff had a comment section for their mugshots.
Like I could never be a lawyer because I would just look like a porn star impersonation of a lawyer.
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
so this maintenance guy stood at the corner of my cubical and scratched his balls for like a full minute cause he thought no one could see him
the staff put glowsticks in the urinals of the porta-pottys last night and honestly drunk me has never been more grateful for anything in his life
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
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