Just spent the rest of my time at that bar trying to keep a probs underage closet gay from touching my kitten to prove he still likes girls.
How come the only thing we can do right in our lives is drugs?
dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
I've got my laundry in the car, tonights 1 night stand pre-req is an in suite washer and dryer. Let's do this!
Btw sorry for throwing that bag of ice at your face lastnight....
Lost my key. Fell asleep on the doorstep and got woken up by host grandma poking me with a broom.
Convinced lucas all the eggs in the fridge are fertilized and now he's crying.
ITS A JAGER BOTTLE. NOTHING CAN BE BAD IF ITS JAGER RELATED.
Missing part of a tooth cos I tried to open a beer with my teeth, just saw a dude that looked like bill Cosby though so things are looking up
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
We poured some Korbel out for our homie Dick Clark.
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
I'm beginning to think that women just have dogs at home as an excuse to leave ASAP after hooking up, without sounding like a typical guy.
Why did my mother make you get naked?
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