I feel like our house is getting pulled over.
I just found a receipt from ace where I bought 1 lrg plastic funnel, 2ft of 1" plastic tubing, and a 48" toboggan sled. Thank you cashier #552 for letting that poor life decision happen.
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
So the stripper who poured a beer on my head also gives great head. Even she doesn't know why she went home with me. No more mystery shot challenges.
God she is annoying. I am only keeping her around on fb because I want to see if her baby comes out looking like an alien or not.
Amanda bynes is my spirit animal
Sorry I just took 4 pills about 20 minutes ago so I'm feeling like a claw machine like people tell me were I need to go and what to do and I'm just like yes sir so I get the teddy bear but I set it on fire and it's kinda black on one side and there might be smoke coming off it.
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
sober me thinks like you do. drunk me needs sober me's advice. am i allowed to go to his house?
Dear sober self, your keys are on the table in front of you the only way your typing this is with autocorrect goodnight love you
Jesus better clutch that motherfucking wheel, then.
I'M NOT PUTTING MY TRUST IN JESUS! I'M PUTTING MY TRUST IN YOU!
Randomize
