I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
I just wanted to let you know I just licked gravy off of my boobs. Just putting that out there.
Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
Her exstacy made her nickname everyone David. Nobody knows who the fuck she's talking to so we just say no to everything she says. She's crying.
Rode my bike to work still drunk. Almost threw up on a camper while getting him out of his parents car.
Hey can we break in your window? We need to borrow the dog.
i left because you were standing at the top of the stairs throwing shot glasses and bottles full of alcohol at me and yelling JAGERBOMBS
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
Then I hope you find a set of extremely intelligent, flexible triplets in the ethnicity of your choice.
That is the nicest thing anyone has ever wished for me
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
I told him not to mix beer with his Dr. Pepper...his reply was "i'm a grown ass man i'll do what i want". Judging by the sounds coming out of the bathroom he regrets not listening to me.
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
Sorry I've been a slutty nightmare this week
I just spent 45 minutes and a really well-put together Power Point trying to convince her to use my dog as baby Jesus in her church's play.
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