Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
I'd suck anything for a pizza right now
With the amount of g's you put on going I'm gonna guess you're drinking alone again
A surprise thumb up the ass and I'm wide awake. She was right, no need for caffine pills I could fight ninjas now.
That guy drinking savagely was actually at his buddy's gay bachelor party in the male stripper section. He came over to the chicks side so we drank with him.
He had some sort of penis-related post traumatic stress disorder, but body shots seemed to wake him up
Sex obviously provides more sustenance than oatmeal.
I think the best course of action at this point is to cut his balls off to get him to stop reproducing
She's too awesome to dump: she gives me great blow jobs and free Popeyes. You just don't burn a bridge like that.
he asked me if i wanted to hook up & my answer was 'why not'. he came in thirty seconds and the condom broke. it's the love story of the century
I just got a text giving me an hour window for when my vibrator is gonna be delivered. If that's not awesome customer service, I don't know what is.
Why is the microwave staring at me?!
so i'm with my friends driving on the highway and just saw a guy in the car next to us sucking on a dildo. can't make this shit up.
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
You know your life has gone off the rails when waking up in a Spanish hospital with alcohol poisoning and no memory of how you got there is not even your top wildest drinking story.
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