he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
the girl next to me at the bar JUST looked down at her vagina and said "im going to get you fed". if i come home alone tonight...i give you permission to cut off my penis
It got a little outta hand when you wanted to do body shots on the table.. at Dennys.. at 4 AM.. with lemonade
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
We bought home drug tests to see which of us could make it look more like a kaleidoscope. What happened to the days of innocent fun trying to best everyone with a breathalyzer?
I just used my glow stick from the dance to find my way in the bathroom to puke. Who wants me on their corporate team
i may have given a gay guy with a mohawk my number last night that said... "you are straight" omg so glad a whole year til my next birthday... also i hit myself in the face with a car door. nice.
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
I don't know if you've ever seen a group of 20 year olds reenact a rectal prolapse, but 'majestic' isn't really the word I'd use...
Go to a building you've never been before and take a shit. It's marvelous
It's a sad night when one of your friend texts you that she's going on a date with someone you know and then invites you to maybe have a drink after
I wonder whether Megan will forgive me if i have phone sex in her attic
I'm so drunk I forgot what to do to go pee.
What did you spend the night in her closet?
She said she was saving me for breakfast and locked me in there
Randomize
