why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
The funny thing is... I'm about to go to the store to buy WD-40 and condoms... That's it.
And before you ask they are unrelated purchases.
seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
He sent me $300 worth of sex toys. My clitoris went into hiding after two days.
Either call me back or tell me you're in jail. For fucks sake. If this is a cop, just help out. national league.
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
They drank shots out of my cleavage. Surprisingly, the one who did the best was a gay guy.
I've said it before and I'll say it again: your tits are a danger to gay men everywhere.
Sat down on an escalator. That hungover.
It was like bizarre-o star trek. I shamefully went where every man has gone before.
The sweaty, naked apartment dance party wasn't complete until I threw the whole jar of glitter on us. It was like the icing.
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
I DID NOT GO INTO HOURS OF STRENUOUS LABOR FOR YOU TO LOOK LIKE A DOMINATRIX BARMAID ON A WEEKDAY. AT LEAST SAVE IT FOR THE WEEKEND GDI.
Randomize
