There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
took him home. told him i would rock his world. passed out. a for effort f for follow thru
Dan just whipped out his wang to piss in a milk jug! Hello weekend.
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
Its like everytime i see you, my vagina gets a heartbeat.
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
Fastest blow job ever. Though it was probably a good thing since we were in front of my house.
I totally just found ecstasy floating around in the bottom of my purse, it's almost like good karma from the time I lost that blow...but not quite
Freshmen girls are like potato chips you can't have just one.
You forgot your "boyfriend" from last night on my couch. You're suppose to bring that shit with you.
Apparently I stole windex from the cab driver. Klepto Tom strikes again.
Is it possible to rally from a drunken seizure?
Dude. I've never been with a guy who just wanted to go down on me all the time including while I'm shooting zombies on call of duty. My life is complete.
When God was sprinkling self control to everybody, he ran out and was like ehhhh she'll make it!
Once you jizz in someones hat, you cant take it back.
Randomize
