great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
the people of mcdonalds are all starring at me & this dude like they know we just slept together
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
This is how I ended up being the slutty friend isn't it?
I just got released from jail. still in my kilt. bring pants damnit. they won't understand.
pants will make it better? really?
all i could think about while he was eating me out was how pretty his eyelashes were
I totally just somersaulted to the bathroom to avoid moving out of my fetal position
I don't know if I should be concerned or impressed.
Was my shirt on fire at any point last night? Because I'm fairly sure my shirt was on fire.
Apparently at some point last night someone gave me tequila. There was a few shots left when I woke up so that was breakfast. This is a good birthday
Everytime I get drunk I wake up hugging the bag of bagels from three months ago
So I definitely fucked a guy while holding on to his pigtails like reigns last night.
The most literal cowgirl position ever.
I guess the wine stains on your shirt and the $2 vodka tonics you're sweating out just scream, "Welcome to DC, please ask me for directions."
Why do my weekends always degenerate into using my little brothers childrens board games for drinking games?
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