dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
wanna go halves on a baby?
i'm at a stripclub and this bitch just lit her nipples on fire!
Condoms? Check. Glitter? Check. Fuck me pumps? Double check. Dignity? No where to be found. I'm about to homewreck the shit out of that dumb bitch.
I've been meaning to talk to you about your lack of self-respect these days and the toll it's taking on your vagina.
i just met a girl who was sent to the hospital for using her phone as a vibrator and got electrocuted. 4 weeks later she got sent back for shoving a hot dog up there. welcome to the teenage american society
All my problems are solved. I just got McDonalds and scratch off lottery tickets.
Dude, I swear her tits are going to give me a concusion.
Because of his penis, I can't even look at a hot dog
It was disgusting, and I would've rather licked the condensation off the windows instead, but I figured that's wasn't very ladylike
Mike's my new hero. There's a flagpole of hook-up's bras on his porch and a week's supply of beer in his fridge but he still has a great job.
My ex boyfriend just amazon primed me a vibrator...guess I seemed stressed?
My debit card was between my ass cheeks when i woke up. i vaguely remember putting it there for safe keeping
all i know is that i woke up at 12:00 am in a shower with egg shell in my hair. i am 90% sure you are responsible.
Next thing I know her tits are out on my desk. It was straight out of a porno. What was I supposed to do I’m not made of stone
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
Randomize