Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
What do ugly girls do when they get too drunk at parties. They can't pull the whole "sorry i passed out on your couch but i'm hot so it doesn't matter "card
FYI : beer farts in the morning chase women right out of bed!
There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
She was kind of put off because I kept calling her baby my spirit animal and staring hungrily at her breasts.
Even though we had just had to physically take her off of someones lawn she was peeing on when they came outside, she still insisted on walking unassisted the rest of the way home. It was dignity meets shit show.
I know and I love you for your valets putting your thong on your seat
It's been hot as balls outside. It's like getting tea bagged by the Sun.
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
I'm hurting so bad I actially had to wait for my mini wheats to get soggy before I could eat them..
I don't know what I was talking about but I just threw up in ikea. You can't get out of this place it's a fucking labyrinth.
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
This is exactly why you shouldn't bang your bartender. Although the awkward free shots are a plus.
No. Nooooo. No way. She looked like Amanda Bynes. The recent one not the one from All That.
Doesn't matter if you work at a funeral home. If the boss says get a keg, you get a keg.
Randomize
