Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
Yea. You cant just squeeze my balls. They are sensitive
In case you were unaware playing with rabbits on ecstasy is the greatest thing ever. I feel like I'm ODing on adorable right now.
He legit asked if he could come over for a hug. I feel like I've been booty called by a 12 year old.
Dude. When are you coming home? I'm laying in bed watching the Grinch and trying to pet a cat that I'm not even sure exists.
I'm not sure if I should be proud of you for having morals or disappointed in you for letting your sex life get this sad.
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
I want to be your penis for a week.
My niece I'm babysitting left earlier to stay the night with her friend. I got ditched by an 8 year old.
He took my Spanx off and still fucked me twice. I call that success.
I'm saying "I told you so" now so that I don't slow down to say it on the way to grab the fire extinguisher
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
Just because you got dumped by some loser doeant mean you need Jesus. It just means you need better friends and some booze
So, 'head before the store' turned into a fuck fest, & that's how I ended up at the grocery store smelling like a cum farm on Black Friday. How's your weekend?
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