So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
if women knew the size of my dick, theyd be much more receptive to my sloppy drunken advances
I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
i am literally watching eva make a trashbag diaper for you to sleep in tonight. whole new level of low for you.
just so you know, you can get through airport security with handcuffs no questions asked
What would you do if you came home and i was in nothing but the table cloth?
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
And I kind of want to stare at skinny jonah hill like a weird zoo exhibit lol.
I think the saddest part about my sex life is that most of it is pity sex.
Just FYI, by the transitive property my breasts have now touched the Stanley Cup.
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
Never in a million years thought I would have to put jello shot recipe/equation into an excel spreadsheet
Pussy, Peanut Butter Cookies,and Bubble Wrap
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
It started with drunk jenga and ended with me simultaneously peeing and puking on his feet in the tub while he held me up. I met Tequila. I don't like her.
Randomize
