do all gilrs hav hair on thier vagaina ?
Don't drive home.
Things on my life to do list: hold a pound of marijuana. Check.
She was singing my heart will go on into her barf bag. celine aint got shit on her.
It honestly wasnt my fault this time. i was in shock. WHO THE FUCK OWNS A PEACOCK?!
Rent Disney Oceans. Smoke a bowl. Fast forward to the seal section. Then call me.
I pretty much just threw a bunch of clothes and my vodka in a bag..idk where I'm gonna end up tonight but I'm prepared.
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
Why do you have to go to the hospital?
I gotta apologize to a male nurse who's tryin to press assault charges on me
God and karma are having a fucking field day with my body today.
I thought i lost my bra, but when i went back to help clean it was hanging up on the wall
It was everywhere. My dick was a sprinkler of lost future children.
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
Don't get into any trouble on your trip
The only foreseeable trouble would be pregnancy, but I gotta be sterile otherwise I'm beating some pretty fucking incredible odds
So i've noticed that drunk me erases sent messages to hide them from sober me, because drunk me knows that sober me will be PISSED at drunk me.
Randomize
