Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
You would only drink if the space jam soundtrack was playing, you thought it was hilarious that before every shot you said "y'all ready for this".
I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
Just to save you guys the surprise, somebody shit outside of our door.
He tried to fight me not realizing that I work as a bouncer in the the same bar we were in. His night ended with him in handcuffs, missing teeth, PLUS I got his shots that he ordered since he didn't get to drink them.
The security guard popped his head over the mens room door and goes "nice tits- now get out." Deer in headlights moment right there.
This day sucks. I just wanna play ostrich and bury my head in your boobs.
Sorry about the picture of wills balls via snapchat last night btw
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
Let's put it this way. Mom is bringing me a new shirt and I smell like lube.
We do have a rich storied history of emotional warfare
Adulthood is putting your bongs in the dishwasher because you're too lazy to clean them manually.
Are you ok dude?
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