the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
Dear tim. Christina farted and it smells like kid roses.
He told me he had herpes after I put his hotdog in my mouth
a girl just walked by me crying on the phone saying, "all I ever do is menstruate"
i noticed he has a cardboard window on his car and he told me he locked his keys in his car and had to break in...this only makes him more appealing
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
As your attorney I advise you to rage rapidly
I just don't do feelings in the summer months.
She keeps asking if I've seen him... For the last time YES... IN MY BED LAST FRIDAY NIGHT AND THEN AGAIN SATURDAY MORNING
And the cockring thing wasn't sexual.
I was loaded. my pee still has a hint of lime
So i just remembered that thing i use to do with your butt because of shark week.
I hope April is a better month for dicks. March has been very disappointing.
He suck his junk in my HALF BAKED. Ben & Jerry would totally disapprove. This is worse than sticky dick donut day.
Maybe I’ll just go to the party as myself
What, a homewrecker?
Touché
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