I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
I woke up this morning with I hate myself feeling
Living right is spending a lot of time in someone's ass
and she's shaped like a lego person so that's not happening
It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
i forgot i changed ur name in my phone to "the situation" so when u texted me i got really excited for a hot second
i thought we decided on me being "the altercation" instead
I had a terrible day! The only thing that makes me feel better is knowing Jack Bauers day was worse.
I feel like somehow my uterus ended up in my ribcage from all the keg stands i did last night..
And at least you didn't have a dinner of Ranch Pringles and Double Stuff Oreos. I forgot that part of being single.
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
I just sent a snapchat of my boobs for Adderall. It's finals season.
I spent the entire party sexting people's significant others for them because they were too drunk to do it themselves. I did quite well too. I should start a business
I'm playing trivia and drinking margaritas so now is not a good time.
Ahhh, beer. My second favorite breakfast drink.
Randomize
