hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
My hair reeks of homosexuality.
I feel like every car around me knows I'm driving in my snuggie
It was so delicious I was introducing it to people. Guy from my psych class was like "This is my girlfriend, Erica," and I was like, "This is my milkshake, Oreo."
I just got a 45 minute blow job...she literally sucked the single life outta me.
u sound so gay right now
he was drinking wine. Puking into an empty water bottle. And eating french toast. ....All at the same time.
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
Actually I think I might be dying right now so if I do you have to drink all my vodka
You're so demanding.
Ummmm you know you're drinking vodka out of a Skittles bag, right?
Obama's speech on in 9 mins. Me in the shower now. Naked. Make your choice.
I'm bringing the tv in with me.
My chest smells like french fries. Get at me attractive men.
He is sitting on the foor in the soup aisle saying "to each their own soup"
I used an explanation of Walking Marriages in the Mosuo Culture to successfully negotiate an open relationship. That Anthropology degree is finally starting to pay off.
Ex-boyfriend shit on a ping pong table at a party last night. Taking "party pooper" to a whole new level.
The hangover struggle is to real, just passed the drive thru window. Twice.
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