Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
Sorry you had to hear me puke. I didn't know I called you. Was it graceful?
the bouncer kept askin you for id just to see how long it would take you to find your pants
he must have thought the song was "ejacuate on the dance floor"
Hung over. Bed full of legos for some reason. Not getting up. Come build stuff with me.
Decided against hooking up with creepy stalker guy for a ride to work. I feel I've earned a few self respect points back.
he has a puerto rico area code and says his name is johnny cash. extremely suspect
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
We forgot to go back and get the brick YOU WANTED TO BRING INTO THE BAR?
The shit show didn't end. it just relocated itself to my apartment instead of yours.
you also need to get my treadmill fixed.
You threw a handful of caps into a pitcher of Heineken and asked everyone if they wanted to go "bobbing for molly"
Thank you for holding my butt in a non-sexual manner when its cold. I appreciate you and your warm hands.
WHY DID I MAKE A 7 minute video of me eating crackers and cheese when I was high
Send it to me
This is either going to be a hilarious catfish or the fuck trophy of the century.
Randomize
