I got into an eating contest with Christina. I ate 6 oranges.
Why? Who won?
we don't know. we ran out of oranges.
Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
So you know how craigslist used to have an "erotica" section? And how after you click on a link it changes a darker color? And how Dad stays up really late most nights?
Oh god... well at least he's gettin some. Mom's a prude.
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
Theres was an instant understanding between us being drunk on the trampoline at four in the morning and the people walking down the road at the same time
I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.
Codeine + Boredom = Sprinting between my front and back door.
you are never too drunk for berry picking
I apparently insisted on hugging all the bushes and apologizing for pollution on the way home.
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
I have meat and whiskey. will you bring condoms?
I just woke up ass naked on top of all my sheets, with no blinds in my room because i used them as togas, my back is killing me, im covered in sharpie, i have no memory of last night, and im pretty sure im still drunk. I consider the night a success
it's gotten to the point where I just look in my closet, think, "which article of clothing behaves most like a towel?" and then just go with that
I'm high and having a granola buffet this has got to be the healthiest I have ever been
He’s disease free and drives a Porsche. What else does a girl need?
Randomize
