her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
Someone shit on the floor
It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
So after your 27th or so beer, you gave me songs you want to have used if you're ever on intervention.
I just took a shower and I feel like 20 pounds of sex just came off of me.
I'm pretty sure that if I didn't have a gerbil with a shotgun in my uterus I would think i was knocked up cuz all I want is hot sauce
You both ran and jumped into the tub yelling Jamaican bobsled team
I asked him if he wanted a pillow, and he replied "No. Batman never had pillows."
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
What am I supposed to say? "Hey remember last spring when I did an ergonomic assessment on your office, well here's an ergo for your dick."
bitch dont make me pour hotsauce in your vagina
I've had more orgasms than showers this week.
Sometimes being bisexual is a curse. Turns out I banged both of her older twin brothers last summer.
Sharted again. Stuck in traffic. Fuck
You need to go! It’s a midwestern wedding - the single girls out there think life ends at 25 if they don’t have a picket fence and family. That’s when your penis introduces himself
Randomize
