i just rode the bull and i see vomit in my future.
I'm eating all of the evidence.
OMG A WOMANS PROSTETIC ARM JUST FELL OFF AT BAGGAGE CLAIM
Dude, she introduced me to her best friend form Russia and she was a 10. Her other Russian friend was even hotter. How did communism fail?
I got concerned once i realized you weren't there to hear us having sex. See I do worry about you.
Between the booze, mechanical bulls, and penis's I think my body hates it when I'm single
I know I'm not the first to fuck in a park but i deserve props for doing it at 3pm. On a sunny day might I add.
He did a 4 wheel burnout and yelled at the cops "Sorry! It's for a school project!". HOW does he think of this shit?
Gosh, I don't even have that. Let alone someone to tie me up and whip me with Twizzlers.
A nap. You broke your hand napping in Vegas.
VAL. THIS MOTHERFUCKER IS LAYING IN MY BED WEARING A CAT SHIRT, VAL. COME SAVE ME, VAL.
UPDATE: IM NOT A TEEN MOM LETS GO PARTY
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
I just ate apple sauce in my underwear. This isn't 30. This is 3.
Last night I had a dream that a man with an ice cream body entered a bicycle throwing contest and won.
Randomize
